How do I work as a counsellor?
What is it like to come to counselling?
I approach each relationship openly, curious and kind.
Where I studied counselling holds the therapeutic relationship in the highest regard and believes that respect, empathy and genuineness are crucial to achieving a productive, healthy relationship. This is a Person-Centred belief. My college also taught me how important it is to set goals within therapy, therefor contracting from Transactional Analysis (TA) comes into play. Bringing Egan theories into the mix, I was taught skills in awareness, challenge and how to communicate the Person-Centred core conditions. These are three different schools of thought all blended, or integrated, into a well-rounded concept through philosophical, theoretical and practical methods. These theories mostly focus on the positive, the fundamental good in people and the growth potential. These theories are existentially based and focusing on the now.
Counselling is about you and that you are unique
It is important to be aware of and understand phenomology- your individual experience. Each individual has the resources and answers within themselves, I am simply there to facilitate awareness. As counsellors, our awareness and focus on this is what requires a multitude of ways to works with clients.
The more I practice and learn, I believe that to be integrated as a counsellor, I cannot help but to be integrated personally. ‘When all is said and done, nothing in our work may be more important than our willingness to bring as much of ourselves as possible to the therapeutic session.” (Kahn 1991) This really highlights how important it is that the therapist is authentic and congruent to themselves, which takes a high level of self-awareness. Personally, I am finding loving the idea that I am just as important in the relationship as you, and that my phenomenology matters in how we build a relationship. This really speaks to my desire to be authentic and genuine in all aspects of my life and all of my relationships.
What is humanistic counselling?
A humanistic counsellor truly believes that once in the therapy room, both client and therapist are just two humans, listening to each other and sharing their energy, empathy and respect for each other. If personally I do not truly believe that there are multiple methods and theories about how humans live, feel and act, then it will be impossible for me to behave as humanistic counsellor. Without empathy for others’ experiences and feelings even when we can’t sympathize, there can be no therapeutic relationship. If we aren’t integrated in all the theories and methods we’ve learned and it’s not unconsciously part of who we are at our core, we will not be able to be authentic and congruent as counsellors, which the therapeutic relationship requires.
Seeing where you are before you can move forward
As a humanistic counsellor who believes in physis, I believe that that is hard for a client to truly grow until they have been seen where they are currently. This is my main job. I think that process groups and supervision groups must be a big tool in how we as counsellors can stay integrated. By keeping in communication and process with colleagues and being exposed to a diverse set of other counsellors and their experiences with clients will surely open our own eyes to new methods, ideas and ways of processing the world around us.
It’s all about our relationship
The idea that both ours AND our client’s phenomenology is at the centre of the therapeutic relationship really resonates with me. I understand any kind of relationship to involve both parties bring their own ideas, feelings, energy and histories to the table. This is part of the reason that I feel it is important for clients to assess a therapist just as the therapist is assessing them before the relationship begins.
I also believe that by understanding myself and my client through the aforementioned methods – life scripts, phenomenology, empathy – I will be more easily equipped to handle any ethical dilemmas which may arise. I will be more aware of what I am able to manage both in terms of skill-level and what might trigger my own emotions and reactions in a way that I may not be able to hold the client in UPR, be empathic, or really be present.
In conclusion, there are many other ways I’m noticing integration in myself, but I think the main way is in understanding my own phenomenology more and increased self-awareness that I’m gaining through personal therapy, skills and process group. With this stronger foundation for myself, I am learning what methods resonate with me and that I can bring to work with clients, in my unique style of counselling.
